The Blazin' Phantomz
by SuicunesRibbonButt
Summary: Flint tells Volkner about his adventures in the Johto regions such as the new people he met and the crazy things he did. You only live once, so why not make the most of life?


Flint has always been on the….strange side. For as long as I could remember, he's always been getting himself caught up in something incredibly stupid. I remember once when we were 10, a kid in our class at school dared Flint to eat a whole bottle of glue. He did it all right. And without a single complaint, too. However, this time, I feel like he really tipped the scale with being weird.

I was a few months ago and Flint just came to visit me in my gym after he was visiting Johto for a few months for "business reasons" (I know he just wanted to scope out the ladies that Johto had to offer, he can't lie to me.) Usually, I would be happy to see my ol' buddy but this time, I was getting a feeling that something was just not right.

"HEY VOLK! LONG TIME NO SEE!" Flint just walked into my gym like he lived there, screaming that at the top of his lungs. I like Flint and he's always welcome in my gym, don't get me wrong, but sometimes he can be a little overbearing when he just waltzes in without even giving me a warning. I mean, my god! I didn't even know he was supposed to be back in Sinnoh so soon!

"How was your trip?" I felt bad for not even saying hello to him, but life goes on.

"oh….oh…oH….OH! VOLKNER IT WAS GREAT! AYE! You should have been there with me it was nonstop FUN, ya dig?" Flint usually had a unique vocabulary….but something was a little unsettling about his use of "aye" and "ya dig." Those usually weren't his first choice for words. I just shrugged it off, figuring he just picked up some Johto slang.

"Good to hear, Flint!" I didn't hint that I felt like something was up. Seriously. What if I was wrong and he was just being…well….Flint? "So did you pick up any hot baabhabhiats? I know you didn't just go there on 'business.' I know you too well." It was true. I probably knew Flint better than his own mother. Then again, Flint's mom was pretty similar to him. Like mother, like son I guess.

"Volk….listen to me. Just…listen. I didn't pick up any chicks but I got something better."

"Oh god please tell be you didn't get another snow globe." Flint was obsessed with snow globes. It seemed like everywhere he went, he would but one as a souvenir

"No. Besides, I already have a commemorative snow globe from almost every town in Johto."

"Then what did you get?"

"I got in."

"In….?"

"Yeah. In."

"…." By this time I was at a loss for words. Flint was being way too general. You don't just tell someone you got "in." It leaves too many questions. Unless you tell Lucian. I swear to god you can be as general as you want with that man and he somehow always figures out what you're trying to get at. It must be that psychic thing he has going on.

"Okay Flint. So you got in. Now where, might I ask, did you get 'in" to?"

"The Blazin' Phantomz."

"That just sounds queer. Seriously Flint what dumb thing are you doing this time?"

"No, Volkner, no. You don't understand. This is beneficial. I'll always be safe. My homiez will always have my back. This is important. I'm part of something now. I have a real family."

"Okay…back up. This sounds like a gang. Flint did you join a gang? Of all the…." I never got to finish my sentence. I was RUDELY interrupted by my afroed friend who now had a hold of my shoulders and was looking down into my eyes because fuck, he was quite a bit taller than me.

"NO. NO NO NO NO NO NOPE NIEN NADA. This is not a gang. This is a _partnership_. An alliance. A brotherhood."

"Flint please just stop. Give me the whole story."

"Okay let me enlighten you, shall I?" Flint slung his left arm over my shoulders and extended his right arm out as far as it could go, and with a dreamy look in his eyes, looked out into the horizon. "It all began on the second day I was in Johto…."

Here we go.

"I was just minding my own business…strolling through an old town. I looked around as the sun was shining on two towers, one burnt and one nice and sturdy, making shadows on the street I was walking on. I took life in. It was such a beautiful day. I was certain it couldn't get any better. I continued on my walk, lifting my arms up and folding them behind my head. Did I mention it was an absolutely beautiful day? Anyway, all of a sudden, I heard someone calling out to me. I looked around but didn't see anyone. It was strange. I was sure I heard someone go '' I keep hearing it, continuing to look around. Finally, someone grabbed my leg and pulled my behind a building. I sat on the ground, looking into the eyes of the person who was calling out to me. Man, I've never seen eyes so bloodshot, Volkner. You should have seen this guy. He was as stoned as can be. Like, one more puff and he would have been a goner….even though mary jane can't kill you. So I'm sitting there in silence with this guy. The out of nowhere he picks up the ends of his scarf and flutters them in my face, laughing, and asks me if he could have some fries and a strawberry shake. Then he lied back and just looked up at the sky, still laughing mind you. MAN WAS HE STONED. I can't emphasize that enough. I kept looking at him, hoping he would come back to reality soon but I have to admit, I was having a good time. Finally after about 5 minutes, he sat up and grabbed my hand, shaking it violently. 'Hi! I'm Morty! I'm this town's gym leader and this is my Gengar, Lil' B from the Pack.' Suddenly, a Gengar emerged from the wall with a beef jerky stick in its hand. Our eyes met and it gave me a 'sup nod. I liked Lil' B from the Pack it was pretty cool for being a ghost and all."

"Flint…" I had to interrupt him at this point. "Where are you getting with this shit?"

"HOLD YOUR PONYTAS, VOLK, I'M GETTING THERE," Flint hissed. I let him continue.

"So Morty continued to sober up, bit by bit, and it turned out that he was pretty cool. He told me all about his adventures legendary Pokemon hunting with his buddy Eusine and it was so crazy. Their relationship sounded exactly like ours! They were like us…except the Johto version. Anyway, we talked for a good amount of time, it was pretty sweet. He even had Lil' B from the Pack stop over at Taco bell to get us some food. As we were waiting, Morty just kind of looked at me and cocked his head.

'You know….I pulled you aside at first because I was just so wasted that I didn't know what I was doing. Now that I'm looking at you, though, you seem like a good candidate.'

I was bamboozled. I asked what I was a good candidate for and Morty just got a huge smile on his face.

'For a partnership' he said. Now of course, I was surprised at first. I thought he was asking me out or something. Finally, I realized that he wanted me to team up with him for something. He had some plan up his sleeve.

'You see, I'm in this gang called The Blazin' Phantomz. The only problem is, we're missing someone for the Blazin' part in our name! We need a fire trainer to join us and you…YOU. You have power, a sense of humor, good taste in food. You're absolutely perfect. So now I ask you, Flint, will you join the Blazin' Phantomz?'

I just looked at him. I know how dangerous gangs could be. I went through the G.R.E.A.T. program in school. But Volkner, listen to me, this guy was a total hotshot. He seemed so cool and harmless. So….I told him I would join."

I just looked at Flint. I don't even know WHAT I was feeling. He knew this guy for what, two hours and he joined this gang? I was mad, but at the same time, I kind of expected Flint to come back and tell me something dumb he did. As I said before…he's just Flint.

"But Volkner….you see, it turns out we were the only people in the gang! Just me and Morty. Morty and me. He invited me over to his house and we planned our gang related events. We needed to build up our street cred and fast. We were gonna build The Blazin' Phantomz up to be an empire. A household name. A legend. We were gonna go out the next night and start our journey. But for now, we just lit a few blunts and watched reruns of Cops. He let me crash at his place and we slept until like, 5 o'clock the next afternoon. I didn't even know it was possible to sleep that long. That was the night we were gonna strike and strike hard. As we walked out on the streets, Morty had to hit up his dealer real quick. I got to meet him. His name was Treyshawn and he was wearing a Kanye West shirt. I was jealous of that shirt. It's my dream to own a Kanye shirt. Anyway, Morty bought his goods and we went on our merry way. First stop: the park. It was evening, and there weren't very many kids there, but Morty knew how to get shit done, even with kids around. We made our way over to the slides and Morty took out a Sharpie.

'It's go time.'

With a single stroke of his hand, the slide was decorated with a crudely drawn penis. Morty handed the marker over to me and told me it was my turn to mark our territory. I couldn't help but wonder what all the kids were thinking. It was quite an odd sight to see two twenty-something year olds at the park. I took the marker and drew a picture of you, Volkner! Except I made you really mad looking and gave you a Naruto headband. But you should be happy that your face is now sat upon by tons of kids from Johto!"

"Yeah…I'm thrilled." Flint's story was legit getting nowhere. I was about to tell him to just shut up and let things take their course when he just started right back up telling it again.

"SO THEN MORTY TOLD ME THAT THE REAL FUN WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN! We left the park and made our way back to Ecruteak City. We made a quick stop at his house because he was hungry, but then we continued on a little bit into town until we reached Eusine's house.

'Now that fucker is probably in there snogging someone like he usually is this time of night so this is our chance to strike fear into his heart.' Morty said as he turned to look at me and make sure I was prepared for any situation. Morty was so full of spunk Volk, I swear you should have been there. I hid in a bush outside of Eusine's house as Morty climbed a tree to get a good look into his window. However, it turned out that there was a Pidgey nest on the branch he grabbed hold of. I looked up at my new buddy and he was going crazy! Kicking, punching, swatting, flailing, but that mother Pidgey kept going at him like it was a sport. I finally had to step in and throw a rock up there, but I accidently hit Morty instead of the Pidgey and he was kinda knocked out. But it's okay! I caught him when he fell out of the tree. He's pretty scrawny, ol' Flint was able to handle him! After about 10 minutes he came to and we were all ready to go again. Morty explained that Eusine hates peaches. They creep him out because according to him, fruit shouldn't be fuzzy. Morty then pulled out a basket of peaches.

'Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna leave peaches all around the outside of his house and place candles all over. We'll play _In The Air Tonight_ on a boombox and hide it in one of his bushes. Then we will ring his doorbell and when he comes outside, he'll see nothing but peaches and candles in the moonlight while being serenaded by Phil Collins. My god, Flint! He'll shit his pants!'

By this time, I was pretty sure Morty was a certified genius. I would have never been able to think up a plan like that and you know firsthand how creative I could be. So we both snuck up to Eusine's front door and locked eyes before we both pressed the doorbell at once. We sprinted away as fast as a pack of speeding Dunsparce. We hid behind the house next door and heard a front door open and a voice say 'hello?'

_I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord__  
__And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord__  
__Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord_

Before I knew it, Eusine found us and had Morty in a half nelson. Man, Eusine looked kind of weak but looks could be deceiving. Before I knew it, it was all over and Morty was lying on the ground, shocked and distraught. I went over to help him out and give him words of encouragement. He just sat up and sighed. 'Well, at least we made our mark on that bastard!' We then proceeded to high-five. This was just the beginning of our escapades. First we were going to take Johto, then THE WORLD! However, I had to leave the next day so we would have to continue taking Johto during my next 'business' trip."

I continued to look at Flint. He had to be drugged. He just had to be. I had no idea what just went on or what to make of his story. He was truly a piece of work. "So Flint….in summary, you were pretty much just flying high with the guy the whole time? Thinking you were in a gang even though there were only two of you and you weren't even doing things that gangs usually do?"

Flint looked offended. "No way Volk this was serious. I even have an official Blazin' Phantomz tattoo to prove it. Here it's on the bottom of my foot. Look!"

Flint was right. He did have a Blazin' Phantomz tattoo there. I don't want to talk about it.

"Well uhmm….I'm glad you had fun?" That was legit the only thing I was able to say to him at the moment. I was so dumbfounded.

"Oh and Volkner….good news!"

I braced myself but I never would have expected what happened next.

"Morty came back to Sinnoh with me!"

Morty then jumped through the door and waved at me with a stupid smile on his face.

I just lied down and cried softly.


End file.
